The words in the Bible are encouragements, exhortations and commandments given to disciples, those who want to follow Jesus and who have an ear for what the Spirit says to the churches – words that give blessing to those who obey, both in this life and the life to come. What does God’s Word say about marriage, and about divorce and remarriage? The following verses are from the New Testament, the words of Jesus Himself, speaking to His followers, and the words of the apostle Paul:
Many Christians disagree on what Jesus and Paul “really” meant when they spoke about marriage, divorce, and remarriage after a divorce. Questions include whether or not their words applied to the innocent party, whether or not there were exceptions for unfaithfulness, and whether or not the cultural and religious context of the time mattered. But we hold the Bible to be God’s inerrant Word, and we find no other source to justify our beliefs. Jesus told those who would follow Him to “take up your cross and lay down your life,” referring to them as His disciples. Living in accordance with God’s commands brings blessing, peace, and harmony, but the Bible gives no indication that God’s law can be adjusted to changing opinions and times.
Jesus on divorce and remarriage:
Matthew 5:31-32
“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:3-11
“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’
And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’
They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’
He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.’
His disciples said to Him, ‘If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.’
But He said to them, ‘All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given …’”
Luke 16:18
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.”Continue reading below ↓
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Paul on divorce and remarriage:
Romans 7:1-3
“Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”
It is very clear from God’s Word that He has instituted marriage to be between one man and one woman, and that the marriage contract is binding as long as both partners are alive. Even though the Bible does open for divorce in some cases, it also makes it very clear that this does not lift the commitment to faithfulness for either partner, and they may not remarry as long as the other partner is still alive.
There is much debate among Christians as to what Jesus and Paul “really” meant by their words on the subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage after divorce: what the cultural and religious context of the time was, if it applied to the innocent party, if there were exceptions in cases of unfaithfulness, etc. etc. But we believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and it is the sole basis of our faith. The words Jesus spoke were to His disciples – those who want to follow Him, take up their cross and lay down their life. In the Scriptures we find no indication that God’s law can be adjusted to shifting opinions and times, but we find that by living according God’s commandments gives blessing, peace and harmony!
“… knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of any private interpretation, for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit.” 2 Peter 1:20-21.
“I urge you in the sight of God who gives life to all things, and before Christ Jesus who witnessed the good confession before Pontius Pilate, that you keep this commandment without spot, blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ’s appearing …” 1 Timothy 6:13-14.
The Key Passages In Scripture:
In developing Biblical perspectives and policies on divorce and remarriage in the church, pastors and elders will want to begin by wrestling with the teaching on this topic recorded in Matthew 19.
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:3–9 ESV)
The key word in the above passage for our purposes is the Greek word pornea translated in the ESV as “sexual immorality”. The word has a range of meanings, but is almost certainly a reference to the entirety of the Holiness Code as recorded in Leviticus. The Holiness Code exhaustively itemizes prohibited forms of sexuality:
And you shall not lie sexually with your neighbor’s wife and so make yourself unclean with her….. You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any woman give herself to an animal to lie with it: it is perversion. (Leviticus 18:20–24 ESV)
If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. If a man lies with his father’s wife, he has uncovered his father’s nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed perversion; their blood is upon them. If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them…. If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal… “If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people…. (Leviticus 20:10–21 ESV)
Thus by pornea we can safely conclude that Jesus considered adultery, homosexual sex, incest and bestiality as constituting grounds for divorce.
The Apostle Paul adds another exception in 1 Corinthians 7:
To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12–16 ESV)
Thus the Bible adds the issue of abandonment due to spiritual incompatibility as a potential justification for divorce.
The Biblical Grounds For Divorce:
Based on the passages above, we can say with confidence that a believer may initiate divorce in the following cases:
1. Her husband [1] has committed adultery with another man’s wife.
2. Her husband has had homosexual sex with a man.
3. Her husband has had sex with an animal.
4. Her husband has had sex with a relative.
5. Her husband no longer wishes to be married to her because of her Christian faith.
In any of the five above cases the believer may pursue a divorce.